Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we did some private investigating and discovered Tom Selleck turned 64, and today we made good on our French connections and unearthed it to be the big day for a guy with great acting genes who's anything but a hack.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we swore we weren't no joke to hip-hop legend Rakim, and today we whip out our Magnums for a steamy night of celebration with a mustachioed '80s sex god.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we did our best impression of a demon taking to dump in emulation of vocal wizard/one-time Faith No More frontman Mike Patton, and today we may be throwing a suprise cyber-bash for a legendary MC, but we assure him it ain't no joke.
As even the least loyal NCDSUV content-craver is aware, we love us some daily features. And one of the more popular (at least amongst, well, us and the people who it commemorates) is the Awesome Celebrity Birthday Of The Day,
which acknowledges another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
And in this historic month of January 2009, the candles have been smothered with saliva for everyone from Danny Pintauro to R. Kelly.
But even the continual erosion of their mortality isn't as awesome as
the annual birthday bashes warranted for these five folks. And of course, a happy cumpleanos feliz in advance for all the b-day boys and girls this coming February.
5. David Johansen Age: 59 Why She's Sort Of Awesome: Not only did
Johansen swagger his way into the punk rock lexicon by fronting sleazy
proto-glam alley-dwellers New York Dolls, but he managed to evade the
heroin heartbreak of bandmate Johnny Thunders and reinvent himself as
postmodern cabaret-lounge performeer Buster Poindexter, and segue that
notoriety into memorable film roles, like his portrayal of the
posthumous cabbie in the Bill Murray vehicle, Scrooged. Oh, and
he even managed to grow his hair back out and hit the studio and tour
circuit with a revamped Dolls in the mid-2000s, rivaling Iggy Pop's
Stooges on the senior punk circuit. Most Likely Celebrity Status 20 Birthdays From Now:
The decade-marking interval between 59 and 79 would seem to fit
Johansen most appropriately. But by the time he's almost hit that 80
mark, one has to imagine the only pace this wildman could handle would
be the slowed-down cool-cat stylings of his once-again-resusciated
Poindexter alter ego. All Apologies To: Joan Baez, Jimmy Page, Dave Matthews, Howie Long, Sergio Garcia
4. Richard Dean Anderson Age: 59 Why He's Sort Of Awesome: Well, for one, the titular character he portrayed during several seasons of MacGyver has become accepted as a cultural verb. But we also gather that, a la recent Awesome Birthday honoree Carl Weathers, Dean Anderson (and don't call him Dick) would have a sense of self-depreciation and, like us, giggle at the fact that in one decade he'll be 69. Most Likely Celebrity Status 20 Birthdays From Now: 79 isn't as innately humorous an age, but that won't stop Dean Anderson from tickling our funny bones by breaking his, in a one-man show about the perils of aging called Fibromyass. All Apologies To: Tiffani Thiessen, Robin Zander, Anita Baker, Rutger Hauer, Anita Pointer
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we cracked a cold one for a former Miller Lite spokesman who's equally adept at cracking a home run as he is cozying up to live-in nanny Mr. Belvedere. And today we sing happy 40th in incomprehensible gibberish to one of the last two decades' truly cracked musical pioneers.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
On Friday, we slowly removed the proper-color candle from the bomb that had been detonated inside Richard Dean Anderson, akaMacGyver's, birthday cake. And today we go juuuuust a bit outside the box for our latest honoree.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we said "Wazzzup, mustachioed motherfucka!" (actually, we just wished him well and shifted down the receiving line) to a man who was responsible for giving Slash his much-cooler-than-Saul nom de plume. And today we're going to bring our lucky recipient to McDonald's Playland... except it will be covered with discreetly dotted landmines.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we put on our sexiest birthday bibs for one super-hot baby. Calm down sickos. We were referring to Emma Bunton, aka Baby Spice. Anyway, today we shit to one of our favorite old men on screen, a man who gave the world one of its most ubiquitously accepted pop-culture pseudonyms.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we hid all NCDSUV's staplers in jello in honor of Rainn Wilson, aka Dwight Schrute's, 40th. And today we say "Yah Baby!" to a woman who helped Spice up our lives in the late-'90s.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we revved up our best perverted Dolly Parton nursery rhymes in honor of the country legend/amply bosomed blonde icon, and today we whip out our special 40th birthday bobbleheads in honor of one of modern television's greatest sitcom foils.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Friday, we proved that a rolling stone doesn't gather any Kate Moss, even if members of The Libertines do, and today we schedule a birthday celebration from 9 to 5 for country's first lady.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we contemplated murdering our older sister, going nuts and walking around with a sushi knife and William Shatner mask for Halloween honcho John Carpenter, and today we ditch any exhalation over the candles in favor of some straight-up blow for the saucy supermodel who somehow just keeps on capturing our fascination.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we said happy Apollo 61 to Carl Weathers (and today also said goodbye to recent, and beloved, Awesome Celebrity Birthday honoree Ricardo Montalban), but today find our way back out through The Fog of Rocky's glory days to commemorate one of horror's most storied filmmakers.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we belatedly opened our nipple-splashed Christmas cards for well-aged Seinfeld funny-gal Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and today we salute a man who made Rocky cry... Pussy.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we put a different spin (fittingly) on the usual intent of this column to derisively slam Rush Limbaugh, but today we get back to ironic business as usual and say "Get out!" to the queen of comedy's show about nothing.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Friday, we raised a spike-bedazzled leather birthday fist for glam-punker David Johansen. Today, we raise a leather fist armed with a spike for a horrible man whom we can all agree to despise, proving we have something in common after all.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
And while somebody peed all over yesterday's birthday candles in honor of R. Kelly, today we say "Damn boyfriend, you're almost 60?" to a glam-punk pioneer-cum-cabaret icon.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
And while yesterday ushered in the seventh decade for Kenny Loggins, a magically bearded man equally enamored with gofers and Pooh, today we head to the after party after the show after the pre-show dinner for a controversial but undeniably talented R & B legend.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
And while yesterday we said "OK, fine you're the boss, jeeeez" to ex-pre-pubescent Tony Danza sidekick Danny Pintauro, today we get ourselves in a fine Messina trying to put the icing on the birthday cake for a folk-cum-'80s-radio-rock stalwart.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
And while Friday's birthday candles went "Schwing!" for exotic Wayne's World hottie Tia Carrere, today we hesitantly say "Surprise!" to a slightly terrifying soccer thug-turned-unlikely Hollywood star.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
On New Year's Day, Don Novello, aka Father Guido Sarducci, led us in a comedic prayer for 2009, and today we say "Schwing!" to Wayne Campbell's one-time bass-straddling mega-babe.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Wednesday, we beat on the brat with a baseball bat for a key member of The Warriors, and today we're ringing in the New Year by wishing a happy birthday to a polymath of the wild and woolly comic landscape, whose main claim to fame is a single Saturday Night Live character.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we solicited the birthday cheer of former Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss, and today we come out and play for a Warrior-turned-Sex stud.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we breathed a sigh of relief over the candles that Marianne Faithful was even still alive and rasping, and today we say happy 43rd to a woman who had at least that many high-profile clients for her Hollywood prostitution ring.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Friday, we flipped for acrobatic infielder Ozzie Smith, and today we're readying the rubber room for a permanently, gorgeously flipped out middle-aged songstress.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
On Christmas Day, we had more than a few pints of eggnog for Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan, and today we arise from our ham-and-champagne hangovers to wish happy 54th to a baseball legend it was hard not to flip for.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Wednesday, we blew out the candles for Motorhead master-riffer Lemmy Kilmister. Today, we raise a green Christmas glass of suds to everyone's favorite Irish punk rocker and hot, drunken mess.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's
favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a
celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and
regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
And while yesterday saw Corey Haim pushing ever-closer to an improbable 40, today we hire a stripper to leap out of bread and frosting for a man who defies age, fashion trends and decibel levels.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's
favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a
celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and
regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
And while yesterday signaled nearly three quarters of a century for shock-white-haired talk-show pioneer Phil Donahue, today look at our own aging process in the mirror thanks to the improable 38th year of a fallen '80s teen star.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's
favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a
celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and
regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Friday, we blew out Flashdance(r)
Jennifer Beals' still sizzling birthday candles, and today we're reluctantly
strapping on our party hats for an elderly over-sharing enthusiast.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
On Thursday, we wished happy 65th to a guy who spent much of youth 69-ing with young, tourniquet-equipped groupies, and today we gather together in an a cappella chorus of "I Need A Hero" for the star of both a cult '80s film and an equally culty '00s Showtime drama.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Wednesday, we wrung our hands nervously while wishing a happy 62nd (and many more!) to neurotic cult comic actor Eugene Levy. Today, we're just kinda standing here in slack-jawed awe at the continual survival of one of the best rhythm guitar players around and possessor of what must be the world's most pickled liver.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we wished happy 47th to a man who showed his Lethal Weapon at a ripe young age, and today we cherish the 62nd year of an actor who helped define an era of comedy, and became an unfortunate archetype for the paycheck-cashing character actor.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we saluted a beloved Hollywood Johnson with an insatiable Vice, but today we say "Holy shit, you're almost 50!" to a man who helped develop the Lethal '80s action-buddy-comedy genre.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Friday, we wished a Blossom-strewn happy birthday to brainiac/former sitcommer Mayim Bialik, and today we're marking a half-century of awesomeness and Vice for a man whose last name is synonymous with the word penis.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the cake-top inferno for a woman who's Knot what she seems, and today we say happy 33rd to a woman who will likely be known more for brain than her Blossom-ing bosom.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we ate a Half-Baked cake in honor of comedic savant Harland Williams, and today we're going to just stare at a model of beautiful butter-cream fondant confection in solidarity with an ever-trim, frighteningly well-preserved, Knot-y sex symbol of yore.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we saw Mario Cantone take another year down the great Steampipe Alley plunge of mortality, and today we blow out the candles for a guy who's cake is only Half-Baked.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we wished a happy 45th to a riot grrrl do you don't want to Toy with, today we say hello, almost-50 to a man who used to lead kids into a dark Alley... of fun!
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Friday, we screeched "happy birthday" in our best falsetto for histrionic R & B legend Little Richard and today, we're screeching "happy birthday" in our best post-fem angry/ironic wail for a catastrophe-prone, punk rock babe.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we said happy 71st to a proudly entrepreneurial Beverly Hillbilly, and today we emit an effeminate, histrionic howl in honor of a living R & B legend and possible re-animated wax figure.
Welcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we made it through hump day with a lil' slice of Da Baddest Bitch, aka Miami MC Trina. Today, we're
whipping up a complicated layer cake for a money-grubbin' Hollywood
polymath.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature,
where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of
Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by
the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge
affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we ignored our dentist's orders and doused ourselves in sugar, in honor of Def Leppard bassist Rick Savage, and today we blow out 30 big ones for a female MC who may be one year older, but has no tolerance for a "One Minute Man."
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Monday we ushered in the post-holiday week by blowing out Woody Allen's still blazing (and we're sure, quite virile) candles. Today, we're pouring some sugar on an aging (but we're sure, still quite virile) rocker heartthrob.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Friday, we blew out the candles for Stephen Colbert/Amy Sedaris creative companion Paul Dinello, and today we skirt this feature's usual ironic edge to bow at the Dockers of a film and comedy legend who defined both New York neuroses and biracial incest.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we wished a happy Turkey Day to birthday nerd Steve Urkel (or at least his real-life doppleganger Jaleel White), and today, we're happy to report it's another year older for a certain buddy of Stephen Colbert's.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we showed our Khan-do spirit by honoring Fantasy Island midget-wrangler Ricardo Montalban, and today we exhale our breath over the candles for someone who would probably rather inhale our phallus.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
Yesterday, we got bodyslammed with birthday awesomeness by WWE "Glamazon Beth Phoenix," today we honor a man who continues to thrive despite taking second-place to midgets and William Shatner and being weelchair-bound for most of the last two decades.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge
another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if
it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the
blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for
their body of work.
On Friday we whipped out the Ecto-Plasm birthday pudding for
cerebral Ghostbuster Harold Ramis because bustin'
makes us feel good. Today, we're strapping on our party hats for a
woman for whom bustin' is a lifestyle.
As even the least loyal NCDSUV content-craver is aware, we love us some daily features. And one of the more popular (at least amongst, well, us and the people who it commemorates) is the Awesome Celebrity Birthday Of The Day, which acknowledges another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
And in ACBOTD's inaugural month, the candles have been smothered with saliva for everyone from Charles Martin Smith to Vanessa Angel. But even the continual erosion of their mortality isn't as awesome as the annual birthday bashes warranted for these five folks, and here's an advance cumpleanos feliz to all the upcoming b-day boys and girls this December.
5. Judy Tenuta (November 7) Age: 52 Why She's Sort Of Awesome: Because she sounds like Yoda after a bender and plays the accordion like it was her job. Oh, wait... Most Likely Celebrity Status 20 Birthdays From Now: If she's lucky, serenading Friar's Club Roasts for generational peers like ex-hubby Emo Phillips (could you have imagined that nerdy nutjob household?). But more likely is a solo dinner-theater residence at a seedy motel in Miami. All Apologies To: Jason London, Jeremy London, Christopher Knight, Morgan Spurlock
4. Tracy Scoggins (November 13) Age: 55 Why She's Sort Of Awesome: The tawny-haired Venus balances a love of book learnin' (at 3, she was the youngest American ever to apply for a library card) with an unstudied devotion to her craptastically executed craft. Luckily, even Scoggins' most inept, ponderous portrayals are generally canceled out by her other, more corporeal, assets. Girlfriend robotically sashayed her way through gaggles of cheesy drama series like Lonesome Dove: The Outlaw Years, Highlander: The Series and Dallas. She's best known for playing Captain Elizabeth Lochley on Babylon 5. <strong>Most Likely Celebrity Status 20 Birthdays From Now:</strong>At 75, let's hope she's safely bundled into a nice retirement home in Boca Raton, making the other women dream up Dynasty-worthy plots to cut her down to size and making a bunch of lonely old men very, very happy. All Apologies To: Jimmy Kimmel, Rachel Bilson, Chris Noth, Whoopi Goldberg
I know, I know: It's cold outside, you're dead broke and the holiday-shopping season six days away, and you forgot what it means to be funny after watching too many episodes of Frank TV.
Have no fear, however: The real-life foibles of celebrities are here. And thanks to everyone from Jean Claude Van Damme to Paris Hilton, the last several days have seen an abundant enough amount of Tinseltown tomfoolery to warm even the blackest of hardened hearts. So as always at this time (or maybe a bit earlier, depending on when our Sanka settles in), here's the top 5 things NCDSUV learned this week:
5. Where was Sean Stewart, son of Rod (doesn't have quite the same ring as Son Of Jor-El, does it?), when Rodney King was beaten mercilessly by LAPD in 1991? Oh, right, opening that week's unnecessary luxury gift as compensation for his dad touring the world and ensuring him a life of comfort and endless opportunity. So how exactly are their situations parallel enough to warrant co-participation in Celebrity Rehab?
4. Sinbad cut his fade-top 'do and stopped dressing like the retarded kid in your sixth grade math class. Talk about losing your sense of humor in your old age.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the candles for the burning desire Bo Derek invoked in cornrow-craving men everywhere, and today we put the Ecto-Plasm on the cake for an actor/director who, along with Woody Allen, helped make nerds sexy in the '80s.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the candles for the great sailor-cum-comic Sinbad, but today we put the icing on the cake for one of the 20th century's finest athletes-turned-broadcasters-turned-husband of Mrs. Huxtable.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the androgynous candles for diva-licious gender-bender RuPaul, and today we wish happy one year older to a third-rate Bill Cosby for the hip-hop generation who shares a name with a fictional sailor.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Friday, we trilled an appropriately melodramatic "Happy Birthday" for mustachioed maestro Yanni, and today we're strapping on our flashiest high-heel steppers for a man who's always Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the candles for sci-fi sexpot Tracy Scoggins, but today, we make a journey to the Acropolis of the heart and say happy 15-years-away-from-69 (huh huh) to our favorite mustachioed master of the piano.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we nixed the cake and brought out the ham for lispy, brilliant trickster Wallace Shawn. Today, we whip up our best butter-cream frosting for a well-preserved sweet piece of ass.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the candles despite our honoree being a Devil's Reject. And today, we honor a man oft-misconstrued as a walking novelty, but to knowing filmgoers is a fantastic playwright, Woody Allen regular and willing ham. Mmmmm, ham.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday, we blew out the candles for Kingpin cutie Vanessa Angel, and today the weird science of the annual aging process turns its gaze toward a man unafraid to play a member of a serial-murdering family of backwoods psychopaths... twice.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Friday, we blew out the candles for everyone's favorite accordion-wielding comic not named Weird Aland. And today we say happy almost-middle-age to a woman whose sex appeal erected many cinematic pins.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we blew out the candles for one of our favorite blow-loving ex-heroin addicts, Tatum O'Neal, and today we say happy turn-of-the-aging-abacus to the slightly edgier female version of Weird Al.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we blew out the crack-pipe, er, candles for (former) heroine-addicted hottie Tatum O'Neal. Today we strike up the band for Corey Glover, a musician and actor who was "discovered" by Vernon Reid when he sang "Happy Birthday" at a mutual friend's party.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we blew out the candles for Night Court temptress/There's Something About Mary sex-appeal stealer Markie Post. And today, we say "Happy one year older... unless you got caught buying crack in the intervening 12 months" to the former Mrs. John McEnroe.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Yesterday we blew out the candles for Rocky heavy/B-movie megahero Dolph Lundgren. Today, we turn our attention toward one of the '80s' most unheralded hotties... and awesome post-feminist hairdos.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
On Friday we blew out our most festively ghoulish birthday candles for tough n’ tender sidekick specialist David Ogden Stiers. Today, we respectfully doff our hats to a Fulbright scholar, Kyokushin Karate virtuoso and man who possesses prodigious enough cojones to rumble with Sylvester Stallone (onscreen at least).
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
And while yesterday celebrated the big 5-5 for underrated screen nerd Charles Martin Smith, today we blow out the candles of more closely impending mortality for a man who brought irreplaceable support to both Alan Alda and Michael J. Fox.
Welcome to NCDSUV's newest daily feature, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
We kick things off on this Halloween Eve (which, yes, is a bit redundant) with one of the screen's greatest underrated nerds not named Rick Moranis...
