Posted by Kenneth Herzog at 2:45 PM Jan 20, 2009By Kenny Herzog
Welcome back to one of NSCDUV's most beloved daily features, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming.
And while yesterday saw poor Michael Caine getting pushed around because of his less-than-desirable liquor-shelving feng shui, today we see a metaphor for the tension surrounding the failing newspaper industry acted out on the rough streets of suburbia.
Adrift In Manhattan
The Actual Story: A fairly mundane spin (with the can't lose casting of Heather Graham and William Baldwin) on the old "Forced interactions with people we'd generally pass by inconsequentially are required to shake us loose from inevitable, boundary-bordered shackles of our ordinary lives" yarn. Think Subway Stories meets Grand Canyon. And then go back to the Netflix home page and select something else.
Cable-Info Bar Synopsis: "Three people's lives change when they encounter one another on their daily routes."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: A trio of veteran newspaper delivery people are duking it out for the last remaining routes on their previously shared turf. But times are tough, publications are slashing staff and budgets, and subscriber numbers are dwindling. And then one afternoon, they find themselves converging upon the same driveway, with the same daily tabloid in hand because of a series of clerical errors, and engage in a Battle Royale-style battle to the death, with only one newsprint-sliner destined to survive to see their route another day.
Click here to view the Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Archive, and feel free to e-mail any absurd synopses we're not catching to email@example.com.