Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Description Of The Day: 'Arachnophobia'

Posted at 2:45 PM Jan 05, 2009

By Kenny Herzog



Welcome back to one of NSCDUV's most beloved daily features, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming.

And while Friday saw Child's Play 2 get reimagined as Chucky's enraged response to the marketing of his My Buddy-reminiscent doll, today the Info-Bar reinvents the contemporary  methods of how home mortgages are financed.
Today's entry is:

Arachnophobia
The Actual Story: A slightly demented cult classic (however consciously calculated to attain that status) starring Jeff Daniels and John Goodman, in which a killer spider breeds ginormous multi-legged murderers on Daniels' new farm house and starts offing innocent arachno-phobes.
Cable-Info Bar Synopsis: "A doctor and his wife buy a California farm with termites and a killer spider from Venezuela."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: That out in farm country, modern modes of currency need not apply, and in order to put a down payment on an authentic ranch, you have to pay up with termites and spiders, which are then sacrificed by the local population to the harvest gods, in hopes of good crops.

Click here to view the Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Archive, and feel free to e-mail any absurd synopses we're not catching to nudecelebritydeathsuv@gmail.com.