Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Description Of The Day: 'Child's Play 2'
Posted at 1:40 PM Jan 02, 2009
By Kenny HerzogWelcome back to one of NSCDUV's most beloved daily features, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming.
And while yesterday saw late-night HBO boob-fest The Beach Girls re-imagined as a fat-camp docudrama, today the Info-Bar devilishly delivers us to the lackluster sequel of an inexplicably appealing horror classic.
Child's Play 2
The Actual Story: Part self-parody (note the Shining-referencing tagline in the above trailer) and part flimsy social commentary (destroyed demonic doll is rebuilt by greedy company seeking to turnaround the PR fallout from little Chucky's killing spree), this silly-but-not-silly-enough sequel is nary parts actual terror. But it is at least consistent with its predecessor's premise, as the the murderous plastic midget tracks down his old foe Andy for a little revenge (even though every poor adult sap around the kid is the one who eats dust).
Cable-Info Bar Synopsis: "Possessed by the killer's spirit, Chucky the knee-high doll returns to get the boy who destroyed him."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: That our beloved antagonist was actually marketed in the film with the unbearably corny, vaguely emasculating complete product moniker, "Chucky The Knee-High Doll," with ear-bleeding sing-song jingle to match. And when the secret of his given surname was revealed to the world via his manufacturer's PR blitz, the re-animated monster went understandably postal and offed some motherfuckers.
Click here to view the Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Archive, and feel free to e-mail any absurd synopses we're not catching to nudecelebritydeathsuv@gmail.com.
