Clint Eastwood Sucks
Posted at 4:36 PM Jan 05, 2009
By Andy BeckermanClint Eastwood seems like a nice enough dude, but as Sucks is the self-styled gatekeeper of cultural inadequacy, our remit compels us to lambaste turkeys like Gran Torino and Changeling for their melodramatic claptrapishness and mawkish unidimensionality. Films like this are the epitome of Hollywood's distrust in the viewing public. "Forcefeed the plebes tripe," and like a fecal Marie-Antoinette they scream, "Let them eat shit!" But yes, gatekeeper and turkey-master are needed to bust Eastwood's balls for being the vessel of Hollywood's hatred for the common person. Let the crushing begin.
Eastwood's slide from Ernest Hemingway toughguy bullshit to bathetic cornball isn't so steep, for in reality they're just facets of the same childlike image of America that the media loves to sloppily gangbang in front of us all like freak exhibitionists. He is the well-meaning breaker of bureaucratic-regulations, that Dirty Harry is; the guy that gets things done by going outside the rule of law like it were some inconvenient set of dictates more suited to cleaning up spilt jizz than keeping sociopaths from destroying our society.
The problem is not just in his quintessentialness and what a dire picture that paints of us as citizens, but rather that he's well-regarded for basically representing a caricature rather than someone who can emote and, well, act. That stoic bullshit is perhaps the trademark of his characters and he plays it well, but big deal. That's supposed to generate acclaim? A one-note role, even if that note is well sung? We all know the Academy rarely honors films and artists of actual insight, but come the fuck on, him? Him? That's Unforgivenable.
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Comments
Just because you curse a lot and have a strong opinion doesn't make it a valid one, or one which anyone else shares.
It seems like you don't believe anything that happens in these movies can or does happen. Like it's some impossible facade that a cop might break the law to punish people however he sees fit (just read the news to find examples of that all over the country). Or that somehow, there are no plainspoken simple people left? Just because your cynical ass is too "hard" or "realistic" to see them doesn't mean they aren't around every corner.
And what are you, fucking retarded? A made up time? Were you born 5 seconds ago or are you just being an ass?
His characters aren't one-note or unidimensional at all. He simply plays a nearly identical one each time. That isn't to say there isn't something going on below the surface... If you had actually watched the movies instead of beating off to your own loathe of anything which isn't anti-hollywood you might learn their backstory and get an idea for feelings or conflicts they might be going through during the film.
And jesus, calm the fuck down. It's just a god damn movie.
Posted 01/06/2009 at 10:57:13 AM