Britney Spears Banned In The U.S.A.

Posted at 10:20 AM Jan 20, 2009

By Kenny Herzog



Just when Britney Spears thought she was a woman, no longer a girl, her raunchy little number "If You Seek Amy," which both spells out something naughty when phonetically articulated and contains some un-teen-friendly lyrics, has been prohibited by most radio stations. And hence, she is quickly re-recording a more agreeable, if sensually neutered, version titled "If You See Amy."

For one thing, I felt like the guy in Mallrats who couldn't see the 3-D sailboat on my first attempt to decode the track's sneakily suggestive intent. So from that vantage point, Spears' sales will benefit from the classic, "Kids now realize there's something taboo where it would have gone over their heads before" trick.

And besides that, it will now enter the pantheon of pop hits absurdly, and patronizingly, tweaked for PG parental approval, like Akon and Snoop Dogg's hilariously reworded "I Just Want To Love You."

Poor, poor Britney. All that time and money spent resurrecting her tattered career and forging her newfound matured independence, only to be dramatically reminded that she's about as self-determined an artist as a prison laundry operator.