Awesome Celebrity Birthday Of The Day: Dolly Parton
Posted at 10:30 AM Jan 19, 2009
By Kenny HerzogWelcome to one of NCDSUV's favorite daily features, where we acknowledge another turn of the calendar for a member of Hollywood land, even if it's a celebrity who often goes overlooked by the rest of the blogosphere, and regardless of whether we have a huge affinity for their body of work.
Friday, we proved that a rolling stone doesn't gather any Kate Moss, even if members of The Libertines do, and today we schedule a birthday celebration from 9 to 5 for country's first lady.
Dolly Parton
Age: 62
Why She's Sort Of Awesome: Sure, Patsy Cline gets all the romantic glory as country's gritty princess, but eventually Dolly will have an Oscar-baiting biopic crafted from her life story. Until then, she can lay claim to having written one of her genre's most enduring songs, "Jolene" (a track that has influenced both country artists and the likes of Jack White); scored points for feminism by helping kidnap sexist 9 To 5 boss Dabney Coleman; opened her own little Neverland Ranch, Dollywood, except kept it clean from pedophilia accusations and opened it up to the public; and became the subject of countless perverted pre-teen nursery rhymes on account of her supernaturally buxom bosom.
Most Likely Celebrity Status 20 Birthdays From Now: At 82, Dolly will likely go full circle and focus her music away from Nashville-friendly pop-country and go back to the raw yearning of her early '70s heyday. Unfortunately, Rick Rubin will have retired from revamping aging legends by then (having become one himself), and production duties will be put in the precarious hands of sudden career-resurrecter Pete Wentz.
All Apologies To: Drea de Matteo, Jodie Sweetin, Paul Rodriguez, Tippi Hedren
Age: 62
Why She's Sort Of Awesome: Sure, Patsy Cline gets all the romantic glory as country's gritty princess, but eventually Dolly will have an Oscar-baiting biopic crafted from her life story. Until then, she can lay claim to having written one of her genre's most enduring songs, "Jolene" (a track that has influenced both country artists and the likes of Jack White); scored points for feminism by helping kidnap sexist 9 To 5 boss Dabney Coleman; opened her own little Neverland Ranch, Dollywood, except kept it clean from pedophilia accusations and opened it up to the public; and became the subject of countless perverted pre-teen nursery rhymes on account of her supernaturally buxom bosom.
Most Likely Celebrity Status 20 Birthdays From Now: At 82, Dolly will likely go full circle and focus her music away from Nashville-friendly pop-country and go back to the raw yearning of her early '70s heyday. Unfortunately, Rick Rubin will have retired from revamping aging legends by then (having become one himself), and production duties will be put in the precarious hands of sudden career-resurrecter Pete Wentz.
All Apologies To: Drea de Matteo, Jodie Sweetin, Paul Rodriguez, Tippi Hedren
Click here for the Awesome Celebrity Birthday archive.
