Unnecessary Album Releases Of The Week: 12/9/08

Posted at 9:00 AM Dec 09, 2008

By Kristopher Yodice

Beginning today, NCDSUV will broadcast a weekly feature known as Unnecessary Album Releases Of The Week, highlighting the week's most egregiously bizarre, dull and often unpleasant albums from the music industry's "left"er side of the dial.

So, from the shrills of pop to the bass-driven rhythms and rhyme of hip-hop, to studious indie rockers and the guttural belly of death metal shockers (not to mention dance, trance and fancy pants), we'll exhume the most fantastically superfluous musical curiosas for the week of December 9, 2008.


7. GG Allin, Freaks, Faggots, Drunks & Junkies
Shit-eater resurfaces
Though Allin has an immense catalog of music, he was probably best known for performing naked, while rolling around, eating his own excrement. His abrasive and largely vulgar punk rock spent much of its lifespan holding court in the nether regions of punk's nowhere Ville, making you wonder why anyone would itch for a reissue that includes the gem "Suck My Ass It Smells."




6. Magica, Wolves And Witches
Dio finally inspires
Symphonic power/gothic metal quintet Magica (yes that's their real name) formed in Romania in 2002 and have waxed tacky, cringe-worthy, absolutely gratuitous music since. The quintet, led by the grating vocals of Ana Mladinovici, is perfect for those mythic role-playing gamers who woefully pine for the Scorpions or Helloween.




5. Jimmy Buffett, License To Chill
Mr. Puka-shell is laid back, with his money on his mind
It's pretty tough to imagine that, after writing such ditties as "Cheeseburger in Paradise" and "Margaritaville," the Hawaiian shirt-wearing Jimmy Buffett maintained anything resembling a career. On License To Chill, he embraces old-school country songsters like Hank Williams with a little help from new school twangsters. But, oddly enough, the re-released and embarrassingly titled record (OK, not so oddly, as the record was the biggest-selling in Buffet's three-decade-long career), resurfaces just in time to unleash that holiday party animal in your parents.


 

4. Jeffree Star, Cupcakes Taste Like Violence
Sweetmaker goes gangsta
For those of you who overlooked '07s Plastic Surgery Slumber Party, here is your second chance, albeit a tragic one, at some gender-bending, club kid, whiney electro crap.
Once referred to as the "Queen Of MySpace", the transgender fashionista's newest disgorgement serves up some not-so-weighty lyrics, such as, "Like a frozen ice cream cone/ Dripping down my collarbone/Yum-yum." There's no respite from this tongue-in-cheek droll wordplay and tiring propulsive beats that emanate from the questionable loins of a man who looks like a dolled-up elderly lady.