Pink Sucks
Posted at 3:50 PM Dec 05, 2008
By Kenny HerzogI realize this isn't the timeliest Sucks tangent, as the singer formerly known as Alecia Moore released her Funhouse record several weeks back. And perhaps it was spurred on by her new single, "So What," being perennially pumped at my local gym to the point where I'm considering purchasing a Soloflex.
But regardless, I can't help but cringe to the depths of my soul when I hear the former flame of Surreal Life vet Corey Hart sneer and growl her way through four more minutes of faux-riot grrrrl ranting.
Releasing albums with exclamation points and backwards Zs, occasionally flashing your tits as some pseudo-empowered gesture, employing soulless session musicians and former frontwomen from shitty '90s alt-rock bands to craft something ultimately derivative of Kelly Clarkson, and namechecking such cutting-edge femme-ragers as Rihanna as inspiringly badass chicks in music doesn't make you an authentic shit-starter, nevermind the second coming of Janis Joplin crossed with Joan Jett.
Which is unfortunate, since you have a genuinely powerful voice. But all your antics and clueless stabs at credibility have you more closely resembling Ann Wilson during her fat stage crossed with some kind of Hot Topic weekend shifter gone postal.
And it also means you suck.
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