Just Because: Homoerotic, Eurotrash-Techno Soloflex Workout

Posted at 1:15 PM Dec 12, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

A few weeks ago, NCDSUV began broadcasting a new feature known as Just Because, highlighting something inane, obscurely amazing or just plain jaw-dropping from the outlines of pop culture and viral content.

These differ from, say, insanely retarded local ads, or  eccentric YouTube karaoke performers, which can be grouped into their own self-referencing regular spotlights. Nor do they need to be burdened by standards of timeliness or having been as-yet-unearthed.

They are the standalone wonders of the cybersphere that made us all get a computer in the first place, and occasionally need to be inserted into a day of normal online programming. Just because.

So while the last installment of Just Because featured a classically, brutally hilarious Beavis And Butt-Head episode that provided a whole new use for tampons (see, they're not just for turkey-basting anymore), this week we bring a very special clip that combines outdated workout equipment, mystifying vanity, homoeroticism and shitty techno. Exciting, no?

Sure, this teeters perilously close to the aforementioned random-YouTube-weirdo category, but this guy isn't outwardly performing in the hopes of a response to creative energy per se. But watching him needlessly (and shirtlessly) demonstrate the everlasting charms and exercise attributes of  a classic-model Soloflex inspires heeeeelarious shivers of confused sexual orientation, and sets the subliminal seduction to a delightfully douchey Eurotrash techno soundtrack.

These home-gym models (and the models who demonstrate them) have always been marketed to stir appeal in that dark, latent, penis-and-pecs-envying side of male insecurity. But this little gem of a clip strips all subtext away and just says, "Yep, I'm a shirtless dude, working out on this piece of cold, hard metal in a way that makes you wish you looked and sweated like me, and leaves you feeling like you sort of want to fuck the imagined you/real me... No? Well, it at least has you laughing at the equally surface shittiness I represent, and the fact that no one on the comments section of this clip found any underlying irony to it whatsoever."

So, watch it because you're curious. Or bi-curious. Or because you're comfortable enough in your sexual preference and confident distaste for crappy techno where you don't have to overthink it. Or just watch, and find yourself strangely unable to look away, well, just because.