Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Description Of The Day: 'Cutting Class'
Posted at 10:30 AM Dec 04, 2008
By Kenny HerzogWelcome back to one of NSCDUV's most beloved daily features, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming.
And while yesterday saw Kindergarten Cop get morphed into a bizarre crossover vehicle for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Paul Reubens, today we let the remote beam us up to a 1989 teen-horror debacle starring, uh, Brad Pitt and Donovan's kid?
Cutting Class
The Actual Story: OK, deep breath here: There's a cute chick who's got a dilemma: Brad Pitt is her athlete-stud boyfriend; Donovan Leitch Jr. is a cute psychopath who'd been released from an institution after killing his dad; Roddy McDowall, a fresh seven years removed from his suicidal high-school teacher role in Class Of 1984, plays a perverted principal trying to grade more than her biology tests; and (one more deep breath) there's someone slaying fellow students, and she begins to think it could be any one of the three men in her life. What, I say, is a protagonist played by an obscure actress who never approached the fame of her bizarre trifecta of co-stars supposed to do?
Cable-Info Bar Synopsis: "A teen's boyfriend resents her being chummy with a guy who might be the local high school slasher."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: That Class has an abundance of just that, exploring some surprisingly mature content via the relationship between a triangle of adolescents. Pitt's character of Brian is in love with his cheerleading parmaour Paula, and suffers the slings of heartbreak when it seems her affections are steering toward the more introspective murderer who keeps leering at her with the sort of deep, penetrating affection she's been secretly yearning for. It's like The Boy Who Could Fly meets Powder, with a touch of John Huges' patented adult poignancy.
Click here to view the Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Archive, and feel free to e-mail any absurd synopses we're not catching to nudecelebritydeathsuv@gmail.com.
