Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Description Of The Day: 'Bailey's Billions'
Posted at 4:00 PM Dec 01, 2008
By Kenny HerzogWelcome back to one of NSCDUV's most beloved daily features, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming.
And while Friday saw the day's Info-Bar copywriter get a bit too far out on the flippety flop while coming up with a neat-a-riffic summary of the Walter Matthau/Meg Ryan laugh riot I.Q. (not to be confused with Mark Ruffalo/Meg Ryan laugh riot In The Cut, today the remote rotates its gaze to the nadir of Tim Curry's career (and that's counting Home Alone 2).
Today's entry is:
Bailey's Billions
The Actual Story: Not to be confused with Brewster's Millions (by any stretch of decent comedic taste), this is basically a desperate straight-to-cable cash-in for several occasional A-listers. Picture previous Info-Bar honoree Look Who's Talking crossed with a standard "people waiting for old wench to die lose inheritence and connive to get it back" plot, toss in Curry and Jennifer Tilly playing their Clue and Seed Of Chucky roles (respectively, of course) to 11, while Dean Cain meanders around in the thankless role of protagonist to a talking pooch voiced by Jon Lovitz, in his least endearing face-time-less casting since The Critic.
Cable-Info Bar Synopsis: "Two embezzlers plot to steal money from a talking dog that has inherited a fortune."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: Nope, that's about on point. We've really got to think about broadening the terms of this particular bullet-point to allow for "Descriptions that are too retarded not to be concisely accurate... And hilarious." We'll get back to you on that.
Click here to view the Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Archive, and feel free to e-mail any absurd synopses we're not catching to nudecelebritydeathsuv@gmail.com.
