Spencer For Ire: The Top 10 Pop Culture Douchebags Of The Last Decade

Posted at 9:00 AM Nov 17, 2008

By Lora Kolodny

In the '60s they were "jerks," in the '80s they were "dicks," (see: Jeff Spicoli facing off with Mr. Hand in Fast Times At Ridgemont High) and last year, with a little help from South Park writers, they were "asshats."

Today, everyone's a "douche" or "douchebag,” thanks in large part to The Daily Show’s influential lexicon. This annoying archetype began germinating years ago, with stars like James Spader and Val Kilmer playing T-shirt-under-sportcoat-wearing humiliators of poor kids, and oily-pec'd volleyball enthusiasts with a penchant for chewing gum and a visible, simultaneous self-love and distaste for rule breakers.

The last decade of primetime American television and tabloids has advanced douchery beyond those early examples. These guys, or at least their on-screen personae—with their narcissism, lack of grace and gratitude and constant manipulations—make the greatest case for reading more books. This list, spanning both pop-culture sensations and/or the characters the played, is our fresh-feeling, sea breeze-scented salute to the douche-defining decade.

10. Raffaello Follieri
Is Follieri too dumb to be a douche? The Italian businessman who won fame for dating bombshell brunette Anne Hathaway, but not for anything he actually achieved, landed in prison this year, convicted of wire fraud, money laundering and misspending six million dollars of his investors’ money. The ultimate in ironic con men, Follieri posed as a representative of the Vatican, to convince investors he’d purchase and redevelop Roman Catholic Church properties with their monies. It was reported that Follieri repeatedly interrupted his own legal counsel during his day in court, telling her what to say in his defense. Douchey, and dumb! On top of that, we hate his wavy, dry, Euro-trash hair. And can’t believe he screwed it up with Hathaway, the angel to the Prada-wearing devil.

9. Clay Aiken
Mr. Aiken: American Idol contestant and pop performer in the Barry Manilow school of song. We’ll keep this short. Oooooh! You're gay!? You want credit for that? Douche.

8. Gary Dourdan/Warrick Brown
On the CBS “procedural drama,” CSI: Vegas, Dourdan plays investigator Warrick Brown, a conflicted, gambling-addicted tough guy. But we’re not sure who's acted more the douche, the actor himself or his character. Back in April, in the midst of his hit series, Dourdan was arrested in Palm Springs, passed out in his own car in possession of dangerous drugs. When you’re a tall, sexy black man with starry eyes and a salary befitting a hit TV star, all you really need to do is ask someone to drive you home, or for that matter quietly to Betty Ford. Dourdan, one of a handful of African American leading men in primetime, left CSI: Vegas in October with an incredible, two-episode exit. But during the Warrick Brown funeral, it was revealed the investigator had a son he never mentioned to his co-workers, some of whom he regarded as family. Not to disrespect the (fictional) dead, but why the douchey cover-up?

7. Andy Bernard
The Office’s Bernard (portrayed by Daily Show alum Ed Helms) has the bland business wardrobe, penchant for a cappella and steady gig that typically indicate a boring middle-management dude. But his constant brown-nosing, anger management issues and competitive streak belie his true douche identity. Andy’s the type of guy who yells and kicks garbage cans over when he his office mates pull pranks on him. (Office-mate Jim froze Andy’s calculator, customarily, in jello.) He’s self-important enough to use his own voice singing “Rockin’ Robin” as a ringtone. And, exhibiting a hallmark douche tendency, he feels threatened by cubicle neighbor Dwight Schrute, and any other approval-seeking douches in his world.

6. Howie Mandell
Mandell first made a name on the comedy circuit putting a condom over his head, blowing it up and off, and then talking like a baby. He’s also been known to wear suspenders non-ironically. In recent years, he became the host of the money-grubbingest game show ever, Deal Or No Deal. There, he commands a stage full of case-wielding models, despite his horrifying lack of style (bald with a soul patch?) and general failure to be James Bond. It’s not fair. And he’s not sweet. But somehow he keeps succeeding to make money. Douche!

5. Ray Romano/Ray Barrone
Romano became the suburban (and sub-par) answer to Jerry Seinfeld with Everybody Loves Raymond starting in 1996. By the series’ end in 2005, entertainment journalists had adjusted to Romano’s douchey stardom, distinguishing the character Ray Barrone from the comedian who played him by using quotation marks to clarify. “Raymond” couldn’t stand it if anyone had a good time without him, if colleagues or family members got more spotlight than he did or if his wife demanded support against her witchy mother-in-law. Real-life Romano wasn’t that much of a douche, though. He supported writers on strike to get fair or better wages, righteously delivering them bagels on the picket line. But of course, he did this after any threat of disruption to his hit show, and managed to get them to chant a line involving his name: “Hey hey Brad Grey, you got money, we got ‘Ray!’” According to ratings, it seems “Raymond” was more tolerated than loved by the viewing public. The character’s bland wardrobe, never-ending schemes to get attention, inexplicably cute wife and awesome job keep him top of mind in the annals (that’s A-N-N-A-L-S) of douche.