Benji And Paris Call It Quits

Posted at 3:11 PM Nov 19, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

No, that headline isn't the name of the imagined Benji sequel that was to star Entourage's Vincent Chase. But according to the uber-reliable Star ragazine, Paris may need more than a New BFF, as she allegedly dumped her dumpy, crappy-tat-covered boyfriend of nine months, Good Charlotte's Benji Madden (it's like they had a relationship baby!).

My favorite part of the report is that they peg the gossip-column-toppling event to an actual date (for, ya know, journalistic accuracy), alleging it occurred this past Monday, November 17 as a result of Madden being controlling and a possible cheater. Mark that moment in history down in your Blackberry documents next to the Hindenburg disaster and JFK's assassination.

Paris can now, of course, resume doing what makes her a worthwhile cultural commodity in the first place: fucking mass quantities of dudes (and yes, chances are she was fairly easily convinced to call it a day as a worthy PR tradeoff). Meanwhile, Benji can attempt to regain his punk-rock integrity by, I don't know, buying a DeLorean on eBay and travelling back to a time when he and his Nicole Richie-romancing bro were known less for banging vapid debutantes and more for... um, making glorified emo for teenagers?