Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Description Of The Day: 'The Fury'

Posted at 10:45 AM Oct 30, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

Welcome back to one of NSCDUV's most beloved daily features, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming. And while yesterday saw the teen-hormone farce Road Trip get morphed into a combination of Stand By Me, Animal House and Toy Soldiers, today we flip the ol' network-navigator to that crazy rabble-rouse, Brian De Palma.

Today's entry is:

The Fury
The Actual Story: Bizarre De Palma thriller with an equally bizarre late '70s cast (John Cassavetes, Kirk Douglas, Amy Irving) in which a nefarious government agent engineers the kidnapping of telepathically gifted kids and trains them to be useful in war-related experiments. Douglas' kid is one of said children, and the movie more or less tracks his attempt to get him back.
Cable-Info Bar Synopsis: "A psychic girl helps a spy find his psychic son, kidnapped by a renegade scientist."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: This falls under a previously alluded to niche of Info-Barism, in which a movie is so convoluted it invariably begets a nonsensically convoluted one-line synopsis. And one that is actually fairly accurate, if less than enticing to viewers. Take pity on these cable programmers folks. It's not quite Dirty Jobs-worthy, but someone's still gotta do it.

Click here to view the Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Archive, and feel free to e-mail any absurd synopses we're not catching to nudecelebritydeathsuv@gmail.com.