Forget Michelle, Barack's The Hottie

Posted at 2:39 PM Oct 08, 2008

By Rachel Perry

I've heard enough about people wanting to tame Sarah Palin's moose knuckle. Come on! It's like shooting wolves from a helicopter. Of course you want to play "gotcha-crotch-a" with her. She was a beauty queen and she's got the hot librarian thing going for her, but I still think her butt reminds me too much of my mom.

If Palin is going to cause any men to vote with their tiny ticker I'd like to speak for the women who want to get their ballot stuffed.

We're all human, within the first five seconds of meeting someone we put them into one of two categories: People we would have sex with or people we would definitely NOT have sex with. John McCain is definitely in the NOT category. Then I saw the first presidential debates and they showed footage of him as a younger man and I realized he was actually handsome, like a young Paul Newman. Young McCain is in the first category, but I still wouldn't get busy with old McCain. But Barak Obama, he still IS the young guy.

Last night's debate secured the Obamazon's lifetime membership on my do-me list. Firstly, I would get in bed with anyone that could make universal health care in the U.S. a realistic possibility. But have you seen the man in his tiny basketball shorts back in the day? Or even his more recent topless pics romping in the surf of Hawaii? At 6'11/2", 180 lbs., the man is the definition of tall, dark and handsome. He's got a great smile and his eyes sparkle with sincerity. He can dance, play pool and he even made his way into the fictional sexual fantasy of Debra Messing's character on Will & Grace, where he "Ba-rocked her world."

The real thing about Barack that gets ThePerryTrain hot is that he is like a boy-band member for the over-30 set. There is this picture of him whispering into Michelle Obama's ear and you just KNOW he talks dir-tay! He is a family man, faithful, passionate, confident, and he can control a room. As a woman it plays into the fantasy of a man who can take care of business, a man with a plan (health care plan preferably), a man who is in control. I want to feel safe and taken care of, and this is the man that is gonna do it. Barack me all night long.