Debating The Final Presidential Debate: Will The Whip Come Out Or Not?

Posted at 4:00 PM Oct 15, 2008

By Kathleen Willcox

We're headed into the final stretch, America: Don't hit the wall! The longest, sprightliest, bumpiest, zaniest, stereotype-transcending, toe-tappin', forehead-slappin' presidential race in our country's history is finally winding down – and it looks like tonight's third and final debate at Hofstra University in Hemptstead, N.Y. may draw us into the final lap with a snooze-inducing cup of lemon-infused chamomile tea instead of the nut-packed PowerBar we're all craving.

What do we want? A rip-roaring catfight that reveals what the frig Barack Obama and John McCain would actually do as president about the fact that Wall Street has gone up in flames, the housing market has been shot through with a cannon and the job market has been chewed up and spit on the detritus-strewn ground like a worn-out piece of Juicy Fruit.

What will we get? A polite, confident Obama (the latest polls show he's 10 points ahead of McCain) who will be on his best behavior. The only thing that could blow his lead now is either a major gaffe or the capture of Osama Bin Laden.

But don't lose hope, Republicans – the volatile, mercurial McCain may deliver fireworks in a last-ditch desperado attempt to come out on top.

While he's opted to back off of his widely excoriated personal attacks on Obama in personal appearances, and instead remind Americans that he's a lovable (but tough!) war vet (who was tortured!) family man who has campaigned from the beginning as an underdog on the Straight Talk Express. But the septuagenarian sensation is still airing ads about Obama's connection to the dreaded Weather Underground. And just this Sunday, he pledged to "whip" Obama's "you-know-what" at the debate.

Okay, Grandpa! My money's still on Obama's methodical, pointed, smarty-pants discourse, whether McCain packs his shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather or not.

Stay tuned after the debates for our thoughts and observations.