Coolio Is The New Mr. Mom
Posted at 3:45 PM Oct 28, 2008
By Kenny Herzog
Maybe I'm beating a dead reality horse here, but NCDSUV loyalists know how I feel about the shark-jumping preponderance of 14th-rate programs revolving around pseudo-celebs' horrible families, quests for love, hunger for money or desperate pandering for attention to their foremost creative product.
The commercials for Coolio's Rules, however, have left me with a handful pressing inquiries beyond questioning the mere necessity of following the "Gangsta's Paradise" has been's patriarchal exploits.
1. At what point did the Oxygen network (yes, there is such an entity living and breathing on your cable guide) subtly transform from hideous bastard sister of the Lifetime network to reality home for spotlight-deprived ex-athletes and hip-hop stars? Sure, I understand they take a feminized perspective on shows centered around male protagonists. ("How does Deion Sanders evade the tackles of his tough-love wife," and Coolio being the "mother of all fathers," respectively.) But it's a bit like flipping to ESPN and seeing Linda Evangelista's instructional golfing hour.
2. Speaking of that prior observation, wouldn't the mother of all fathers be either: A.) The Virgin Mary, B.) Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom or C.) that creepy pregnant she-male that's been in the news lately? (And no, we don't mean Amy Winehouse.)
3. Wouldn't it have been quippier to just call the show Roolios? I swear, these networks are getting laaaaaaazzzzzzy with the titling of these shit heaps.
4. So basically, just because Reverend Run and Luther Campbell had success on MTV and VH1 with their "look, rapping daddy's all grown up" series, that means lesser networks think they can push a poor MC's version of those shows down our throats?
5. What time is it on again? It looks kind of awesome.
