'Celebrity Rehab': Saving My Reality TV Addiction

Posted at 3:12 PM Oct 29, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

Thank you, Drew Pinsky (ehem, my apologies, Dr. Drew) and VH1. By striving to save the lives of several Z-level sort-of famous people (some most currently recognizable for their appearances on other VH1 reality shows) on Celebrity Rehab, you have ensured a previously waning addiction of my own: true-life cable programming.

I admit I'm a bit behind the ball on Season 2, but catching up with the season premiere was a damn near revelatory experience, and one that made me realize, yes, I can conquer my demons and continue to be reliant on a corrosive influence that prevents me from interacting meaningfully with other people: rampant couch potato-ism.

The definition of celebrity has officially been distorted in a very odd way thanks to the inclusion of Rodney King (yes, as in historically significant LAPD victim Rodney King), who cozies up next to the self-righteous Zen lunacy of Gary Busey, the cosmetic surgery-cum-prescription-drugs facial bloat of Tawny Kitaen and the depressing trainwreck-meets-apparent ratings bonanza that is Jeff Conway, who suddenly resembles a member of The Cramps.

Happy days are here again indeed. So thank you once again, VH1 and weirdly hunky doctor host guy, from the bottom of my tragedy-rubbernecking, hi-def-aspiring, digital soul. You may not get former Guns 'N Roses drummer Steven Adler to stop drinking Jagermeister (although at least switching to a respectable liquor like whiskey would be a start), but you've helped ensure that I will at some point need formal rehabilitation from years of exposure to cultural toilet-water.