Beyonce Is Obnoxious

Posted at 2:00 PM Oct 15, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

Since we were recently discussing the boundaries of suspending disbelief, let us turn to do-no-wrong queen of contemporary R&B, Beyonce Knowles.

I've spent an unfortunate amount of time (read: any of it) pondering my response to the video for her new single, "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)", and after initially thinking it was a call to arms aimed at repairing dial-toneless phones, I realized it was a "go on girlfriend, get your man and have him get you a diamond rock if he really gives a shit about you" anthem. An empowered response to years of desperate "I Will Survive" quasi-feminist reconciliations.

Or, it was just a really disingenuous attempt to relate to your audience when in fact a good portion of them should just feel alienated and inadequate. The song was actually co-written by Knowles, so I'm not suggesting it's another thoughtless interpretation of someone else's sentiments. But perhaps Mrs. Jay-Z needs to go back and hone that lyric-scribing craft.

The repetitive chorus of "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it," sung on behalf of "All my single ladies," is intended to be inclusive and motivational, but mostly just seems a but curious coming from a woman whose lavish engagement to and nuptials with Mr. Hova have been well-publicized since her last record in 2006. Seems like a transparent attempt to re-gain the grassroots favor of her female fans.

But then simultaneously, the video offers not one, but two, gratuitous closeups of the ginormous rock on her index finger. The intent obviously being to imply, "See my single ladies, this is what you deserve and you can get."

Well, no, they can't. Because they're not an impeccably gorgeous, talented, Amazonian goddess who got hitched to a world-famous musician and record mogul. And now you're just rubbing it in and make them feel bad. And confusing your messages between the song's mediums. So stop it, damnit. Your voice is too good for your music to be so surface (albeit oft-excitingly produced). It's like discovering you have extraordinary mental and physical discipline and using that ability to hang upside down for hours.