New Lindsay Lohan Rule: No More "Gal Pal"

Posted at 2:00 PM Sep 25, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

Yes, I admit, this is yet another opportunity to display the above picture of Lindsay Lohan. But I'm here to do more than mock, exploit and objectify LiLo. I am, to paraphrase Peter Cetara, the man who will fight for her honor.

Now that it's been more or less admitted, by Lindsay herself, that she and Sam Ronson are makin' sweet sweet nastiness, can we stop referring to Sam as her "gal pal"?

First of all, it's just a dumb, juvenile term that makes every journalist who utters it seem like an infantile fool. Secondly, it transforms Ronson from a flesh-and-blood person into some weird, animated appendage of Lohan's. It's nearly as demeaning as the "baby bump" phenomenon, which turns an innocent fetus into a novelty tabloid curiosity. In the press' eyes, the DJ/sister of Mark may as well be Lindsay's latest handbag till we report on how she's sporting the next season's fashion trends. That said, I just reduced her to being little more than "the sister of Mark." Touche. Touche.

But mostly, let's all stop pussyfooting around the issue with such politically correct trepidation for chrissakes. After Lindsay's sort-of confession, I think we can at least refer to Ronson as her "girlfriend" and feel pretty secure in ourselves and having done our job as celeb-news liaisons. "Gal pal." Ugh. I get douch-chills even typing it out.