Hilarious Cable Info-Bar Description Of The Day: MTV's Next

Posted at 3:13 PM Sep 05, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

Earlier this week, NCDSUV debuted its newest daily feature, which takes aim at the most confounding, misleading or abruptly hysterical info-bar synopses of the day's cable programming. And while yesterday saw Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead get recast as the harrowing tale of a teenage girl forced to become family breadwinner, today we turn our glance toward the moral abyss that is MTV mid-day programming...

Today's entry is:

MTV's dating show, Next
The Actual Story: Superficial, witless post-adolescents get the chance to publicly debase and reject several competitors, regardless of any empirical evidence that they're particularly interesting or attractive. (Sample rejection line: "That girl's face is speckled like bologna.")
Cable Info-Bar Synopsis: "People get the opportunity to quit dates and start new ones."
What Their Description Would Have You Believe: That Next puts an empowering and progressive spin on the dating-show formula, allowing contestants to be excused from romantic mismatches to find true chemistry with someone else.

And yes, Next promotes equal-opportunity stupidity: