Baby-Gift Guide For Ashlee And Pete's Twins

Posted at 2:00 PM Sep 08, 2008

By Kenny Herzog

Yes, yes, we heard the news about Ashlee Simpson's twins. No, not those twins (NSFW), but the alleged double-infant-dipping developing inside her belly. Rapper Tyga, who apparently also doubles as a friend of Ashlee and Pete Wentz, of course let the news slip last night at a pre-VMAs party. Which left us with two questions: Why do MCs always have to appropriate the names of animals and other things in unnecessarily silly ways? And what on earth are we going to do with our original baby-shower gift now?

We are likely not the only panicked pals of the couple looking to exchange our singular present for a more pairing-appropriate item, or an additional purchase to complement the one we made weeks ago. But don't worry, NCDSUV is here to help. After considering both parents' interests, hobbies and tastes, here's a few gift ideas for their soon-to-be-the-victims-of-divorce baby brood:

─In honor of their good pal Tyga, why not get the kids a matching set of safari animal temporary tattoos? They're arguably less regrettable than Wentz' real ones.

─Given the image-changing majesty of Ashlee Simpson's supposed nose reconstruction, and the likelihood of her twins inheriting the less-flattering genetic code, what harm is there in booking them advanced appointments for top-flight rhinoplasty?

─Lest the toddler twosome begin to take an interest in daddy's work, make sure they understand Fall Out Boy's more righteous roots with this superlative Clash box set. While you're at it, you may want to buy one for dad too.

─Mom may be increasingly serious about her music, but it doesn't mean she lacks a sense of humor. And what expectant parent who got caught lipsyncing on SNL wouldn't appreciate receiving the show's inaugural season as a good-natured ribbing? Besides, are the Wiggles really that funny? Ok, maybe they are.